The 5 Rules of the Game

Single Ladies,

Welcome to My Blog. Now that you are here, I bet you're wondering just what the hell this whole "If I were a Boy" is all about. Well it's simple really, I was on the phone with my best friend and she mentioned the story of a guy who was a cyber player. Ladies, you already know this man, you've probably met him playing the field, testing out the waters of eHarmony or Match.com, telling you that he's seriously interested in getting to know you, while also hitting up your best friend's profile and inviting her to dinner at the very same restaurant that you just agreed to meet him at (Disclaimer: sad, but true story for another post).

So, the question arose-- why do men have all of this entitlement and why, as women, do we give them so much latitude when it comes to their dating habits? Can you imagine how we would be labeled if we were to take these same liberties? Can you say ho? Well, today we are about to do some serious role reversal and find out just what it's like to be a boy. Check out the rules below and play along. Please, for your own self respect and on behalf of single ladies everywhere, DON'T break them.

If I Were a Boy (The 5 Rules of the Game):

Boy Rule #1: Only Communicate via Text Message
Only communicate with him in text messages. Resist the urge, the tempation, the inkling and the desire to even pick up that phone and call him. Now when he calls, go ahead and speak with him (of course), but you are never to contact him via phone and be the last to sign off your texts with a lone smiley face. Send these text messages late at night (before shutting off your phone), before you are about to board an airplane, or walk into a meeting. You want to be offline for an extended period of time, so he wonders why you haven't responded back right away....

Boy Rule #2: Make it ALL about YOUR schedule
Always make it about YOUR schedule (even when you don't even have one). I don't care if you have the entire weekend free, don't make yourself so accessible!! Tell him you're traveling even when you're not. Tell him you will have to meet him after you go out with your crew, and tell him that you will have to get back to him each and EVERYTIME he asks you out on a date.

Boy Rule #3: NEVER Say "I love you"
Ladies, most of you will probably break this rule, simply because as women we so badly want to hear those three little words and we think if we say them first he will magically fall in love with us. WRONG. Don't say it, don't repeat it when he says it. Appropriate responses: "Ditto," "That's SO sweet," "Ohhh, I care about you too." Never Say "I love you." Never.

Boy Rule #4: Don't Cuddle After Sex
You already know the drill, because you've seen him do it. After that last glorious climactic moment, you look him in the eyes and say "thank you," then roll right over (facing the wall), get up and go to the bathroom, return and grab the remote and turn on an HGTV show (the equivalent of his Sports Center). You are NOT to cuddle, rub up, touch him, and what happens when he tries to get all touchy feely? Well you know what to say "Stop babe, I'm trying to learn how to do a total home makeover."

Boy Rule #5: Get What You Can Get
This rule is not to be confused with "become a HO." Remember, we still have to maintain our class. However, don't stick to one guy all the time, this is a game, so we need to go out and safely (always use protection) pick up as many different types of guys who excite, and intrigue us, and are SEXY as hell. Those of you who get stuck on one man will be disqualified. In order for the game to work we need variety.

Girl Power Points:
Okay, you are officially on your way to "becoming a boy." These are the rules, pretty simple right?
Each rule is worth 2 points. Your goal is to get 10 points each week. For every occasion that you verbalize, express, or act out one of these rules, give yourself those points (you have earned them).

2 Point Score: You avoid his calls and texts all day and then when you get home at 11 p.m. or later, you text him and say "what's up?" That is 2 points.

1 Point Score: You don't call him all day, you send him a text at 11 p.m., and then he calls you back and asks you out this weekend. You say yes right away and break Boy Rule #2. So minus one point for your ass.

0 Point Score: You commit to this game, only to drop out, go tell your main squeeze that you love him and that you want to be in a monogomous relationship. Just drop out already. If you are this girl (you know who you are) we don't even want you on our team

Good luck and let the game begin!! Ladies, please check in often for tips, support and to let us know how you're doing.